Expectations

This weekend, we had a date night courtesy of my parents. They came over to watch our son, while we enjoyed a much-needed evening with our friends. Our friends, who have a son that's only a few weeks older than ours, managed to find a sitter too. We had so much fun being "just us" again that we were giddy!

We get together with this couple on a regular basis, with and without our kids. Aside from genuinely liking them, having kids so close in age makes it easier to relate to one another. It's probably no surprise that I find myself ALOT more comfortable socializing with other parents, especially when we have our child in tow.

For one thing, other parents UNDERSTAND... I'm less embarrassed by my son's restaurant antics in front of them. Unlike our childless friends, other parents don't awkwardly gape in silence as we work to distract our son. Instead, they either offer help or commiserate as their child does the same. Words such as "oh, gotta get to get home to relieve the sitter/Mom and Dad..." are not met with mocking and the need for a speedy escape are acknowledged and respected. Other parents don't look on bored and complacent as you have to attend to your child's needs and, bst of all, they forgive the brain farts, cluelessness, and possible lack of captivating dinner conversation brought on by the sleep deprivation. They already know what you mean.

Early in my marriage, I was determined NOT to be that girl that stopped hanging out with her single friends. I reached out to every one of my many circles of friends on a regular basis; never missing an opportunity to meet for drinks, have a girls night, or whatever. This lifestyle was fun for a while, but my husband and I grew tired of it quickly. Honestly, it was exhausting to keep up and we were losing sight of what really mattered.

Eventually, we made a mutual decision that it was time to move on and it was time for more. We started thinking of things in terms of what (and who) was worth our while, and which was better to leave behind.

There are some people that we just outgrew. While we may have had a great time in grad school together, we really don't share any of the same passions and interests now. Then, there were those that just never changed... Together, my husband and I learned that some friendships are meant to just last for the meantime, not for a lifetime, and that's okay.

I still keep in touch with my dear friends (when I can) and pretty much purged the rest. Our time is too much at a premium to spend with people we don't truly enjoy...

photo by ohcaptain