I know why the caged bird... eats french fries

This is what I get for being judgmental. Life lesson: Don't be judgmental.

I'm not going to lie to you, Internet. It's been a rough week. My son isn't quite walking yet, but he's close. I can tell that being on the verge of all that freedom is driving him crazy.

Nope, the main thing he mastered this week is how to exert his independence, which I think will help motivate him

He's learned that... 1. If he really doesn't want to do something, he shouldn't have to and 2. he should just go for whatever it is that he wants in life . While these are very important life lessons to master at such an early age, it hasn't made my life any easier.

Instead of getting upset with my son, I'm more mad at myself for all the things that I used to stupidly believe about parenthood as they have all come back to haunt me this week.

There's a term for this type of behavior... The SanctiMommy.

Mom-101 sums it up this way....

While the Sanctimommy is quick to deem others unfit mothers based on (really, in the end) superficial decisions like the cleanliness of a child's nose or the YoBaby in the grocery cart, she's reluctant to look as closely at herself. At her own attitude. At what seems to me to be anger and angst and a general unhappiness directed at a world around her which she can't control.

Oh and here is the part where I learn my lessons... and guess what? There are only three of them. Not everything is going to come in "fives"...

There will probably be more to come in the future. I'll keep you posted.

1. Babies cry and they don't care where they are...

My husband and I used to "tsk-tsk" silently and roll our eyes at one another anytime we saw a child being loud or unruly in public. We used to ask one another idiotic things like, "How can they just ignore their kid crying? That's supposed to be 'parenting'? They need to take responsibility... blah, blah, blah..."

If I turned around and went home EVERY time my child was being loud, I would never leave the freaking house!

Sometimes he cries just because I told him, "No, you can't play with my cell phone right now" or "You shouldn't eat Mommy's keys"...

He cries because he is ready to go home for a nap and the waiter isn't quite listening when I say "I need my check NOW".

He cries when he doesn't want to sit in his stroller and I don't him to play on the filthy floor...

You get the picture. I'm not out and about with my tired/cranky/impatient child because I want to torture you and me and the whole world make three. I'm out because if I don't finish the grocery shopping now, no one will and there will be no supper.

Yes, I am very aware that my child is being loud and, trust me, it hurts me more than it hurts you.

2. Spotless house + baby = nice try.

I never thought I'd live to see the day when my husband comes home and I gleefully (and sincerely) exclaim, "Great, you're home. I'm so excited that I can finally CLEAN THE BATHROOM like I've been wanting to all day!"

When I tried to clean the bathroom earlier in the day, the boy wasn't to keen to staying more than two feet away from me and was a little too curious about that can of "Scrubbing Bubbles"...

Who was I kidding when I believed that being home all day meant there was no excuse to have a messy house? I mean, "couldn't you be cleaning during nap time... geez, how lazy can you be?"

Okay, I'm not saying that I used to feel this way about other people's housekeeping. I mostly put this pressure on myself, but no more.

As great thinker, Voltaire, once observed: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.”

Taking this to heart, I now use nap time to blog because I'm not stupid enough to run the vacuum. hehe.

My house is a wreck because I no sooner put something away than my son is into the next thing. Whether it's all the Tupperware and colanders or every single baby wipe in the house, it can be found in a pile, on my floor... I usually spend the day picking up after him anyway, but it never ends.

The other day, he hid behind an ottoman and pulled every Kleenex out of the box. Maybe if I hadn't dozed off on the sofa, this wouldn't have happen or I could have at least intercepted sooner but, I prefer to blame the lack of baby-proofing on the Kleenex box.

For shame, Kimberly-Clark. For shame.

3. Giving him this french fry will give us 10 minutes of silence. What'll it be?

Today at lunch, my son got bored with his food and decided he wanted to play on the floor. His way of "expressing" this was turning around in his highchair and leaning backwards over the side and, again, screaming. When I tried to help him up, he stood up IN the highchair while still strapped in...

I normally don't feed him anything but good, wholesome food, but there it was... on my plate... my last hope.

I swore I'd never give my kids french fries, but today, in desperation, I handed him one in the hopes it could distract him while I tried to pay for lunch. I didn't expect him to actually eat it, so much as be amused by it...

It worked! He was silent for a full ten minutes as he explored this new specimen like a food critic. He bit it, contemplated the flavor, cleansed his pallet with a Cheerio, and studied what was left until all of it was gone. It was really cute, but the best part... we finished lunch in peace, I paid the check, and we left without incident.

Obviously, I don't make it a habit to feed my kid crap, but at the moment I finally understood why other parents do.

Incidentally, he first pulled that leaning backwards and screaming stunt while riding in a grocery cart earlier in the week. There were no french fries readily available for immedate consumption. We were practically chased out of the store with sticks and torches.

In spite of the fact that he's becoming more and more like a certain little devil from Tasmania, I surprisingly have all the patience in the world for him. I think it's love (sigh)

I don't exactly overlook his "questionable" behavior. I stand my ground and try to keep the consequences consistent. Beyond that, I'm not sure how else to "discipline" a baby. Do you?

Photo by boonkit