Today, I purchased a plane ticket and registered for BlogHer '07! (Yea!!!)
When I first approached my blogging-partner-in-crime with the idea of attending the conference together, I was only half serious and only half expecting her to go for it. Well, so much for that...
A week later, her sweet connections secured us an awesome hotel rate for the weekend (thank you! thank you!) and we were exchanging flight itineraries by e-mail. Next thing I knew, I was divulging my credit card info and clicking "purchase"!
I'm actually really excited about attending, but once my friend gave me an estimate on our total costs including travel and incidentals... HOLY MOLY! I felt a HUGE sinking feeling of guilt/doubt over spending the money. I mean, there's soooooo much other stuff that money could be going towards... like, ummm... replacing that chintzy tv tray that's been masquerading as a night stand in my bedroom or, hmm, I don't know, my son's college fund...
Also, since I quit my job, I've been reluctant to to blow lots of money on myself... For my son, anything. On the house, of course. Gifts for my husband, in heartbeat. For me, not so much.
Why? Because as a stay-at-home mom, I still feel guilty about not contributing to our family financially. I know. I know. I contribute in other "far nobler" ways by taking care of our son, making sure we have friends, and running our household, thereby eliminating the cost of childcare, rent-a-friend, and maid service (because you better believe my house would be a total sty if I had to work too...)
My husband, on the other hand, does not have one iota of resentment about being the family's "bread winner". It helps that he generally enjoys what he does, but he also finds that he works better knowing the everything at home is taken care of. He always reminds me that what I'm doing IS far more benefical in a ways that money just can't buy and I DO deserve to take some time and resources for myself and my hobbies (I know, he's a saint!), but still... It's been a leap for me to think of it as "our money".
But as he put it, "What the point of making money if we can't enjoy it?" and " It IS our money."
So here I GO!
When I first approached my blogging-partner-in-crime with the idea of attending the conference together, I was only half serious and only half expecting her to go for it. Well, so much for that...
A week later, her sweet connections secured us an awesome hotel rate for the weekend (thank you! thank you!) and we were exchanging flight itineraries by e-mail. Next thing I knew, I was divulging my credit card info and clicking "purchase"!
I'm actually really excited about attending, but once my friend gave me an estimate on our total costs including travel and incidentals... HOLY MOLY! I felt a HUGE sinking feeling of guilt/doubt over spending the money. I mean, there's soooooo much other stuff that money could be going towards... like, ummm... replacing that chintzy tv tray that's been masquerading as a night stand in my bedroom or, hmm, I don't know, my son's college fund...
Also, since I quit my job, I've been reluctant to to blow lots of money on myself... For my son, anything. On the house, of course. Gifts for my husband, in heartbeat. For me, not so much.
Why? Because as a stay-at-home mom, I still feel guilty about not contributing to our family financially. I know. I know. I contribute in other "far nobler" ways by taking care of our son, making sure we have friends, and running our household, thereby eliminating the cost of childcare, rent-a-friend, and maid service (because you better believe my house would be a total sty if I had to work too...)
My husband, on the other hand, does not have one iota of resentment about being the family's "bread winner". It helps that he generally enjoys what he does, but he also finds that he works better knowing the everything at home is taken care of. He always reminds me that what I'm doing IS far more benefical in a ways that money just can't buy and I DO deserve to take some time and resources for myself and my hobbies (I know, he's a saint!), but still... It's been a leap for me to think of it as "our money".
But as he put it, "What the point of making money if we can't enjoy it?" and " It IS our money."
So here I GO!
2 comments:
during my confinement, i thought about giving up my job to be a SAHM.
but i knew we couldn't afford it - and my husband confirmed it, and we hardly spoke abt it ever again, except when i sigh abt not seeing enough of our daughter.
this morning, when my mom took our baby (she takes care of our baby for us while we work), i felt like crying knowing that i probably wouldn't see her first smiles or her first steps because i would be at the office.
i understand how you feel abt spending money.
but i wish i could stay at home for a year or so to be with my baby daughter.
ack, i'm soooo jealous! i wish i could go to blogher, but i'll be bridesmaiding a friend's wedding that saturday. have a great time, though!
also, thanks for stopping by my site and leaving a comment. it was great to see a new "face" over there. :)
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