I guess the stink of Hubby's job(less) situation finally reached my bitchy SIL, the one with all of the money and none of the class, because she just emailed me... completely out of the blue...
It had the same tenor as most of our past dealings... "Hi-Hi. We're doing FABULOUS. Our life. PERFECT! So what's up with YOU?"
They seem to have escaped the economic crapfest. Prosperity certainly agrees with them and I can't blame her forrubbing it in being so happy.
Insert some passive-aggressive BS about "not spending the holidays together" (as if we ever did), and you can see why we don't talk much...
She isn't the only one asking us, "Do you know... Do'ya? Do'ya? Huh? Huh?".
Everyone wants to know what's going to happen, but no more so than ME. It's quickly become the "...but, how are you feeee-ling?" of my pregnancy days and it's twice as annoying since I have no news to share.
Nothing.
While my dear, sweet husband is still hoping for a new contract and refusing to put our house back on the lettings market, I've simply resigned myself to the fact that I have a ton of (re)packing to do...
I've been a jumble of emotions that I can't even begin to sort right now. There's a lot of disappointment and anxiety, but GUILT tops the list.
Months ago, when the stress of moving to London finally got to me, I made the calamitous error of letting my guard down while talking to my mother-in-law.
Her response?
In a nutshell, a long lecture on how I should get over myself and be a stronger person, because what choice do I have... and I quote, "It's not like YOU would get a job and support your family".
Yeeeeah. Ouch!
At the time, I just filed that comment away in"crazy, hypocritical things my mother-in-law has no right to say to me" and moved on with my life. (It's a really big file.)
Although lately, her words have come back to haunt me.
I'm smart. I'm marketable. I love, love, LOVE being home with our son, but hate that the responsibility and pressure of keeping us solvent is all on my husband.
This will be the third time he's lost his job in two and a half years and each "transition" has nipped away at our savings more and more. Savings in which I have not contributed in a long time...
I stay up every night and I wonder how we're going to afford to send our son to college.
I wonder, if we do move back, how we're going replace the things we sold for this "grand adventure"- the second car, the washer/dryer, our mattress.
I wonder if I should be supporting my family.
My husband insists that I AM making a contribution. Of course, this was upon coming home to a happy boy and night two of my "holiday trial runs".
(If you care to know, tonight it was roasted lamb with ciabatta stuffing, delicious Jerusalem artichokes, and cranberry jelly. A bit posh for po' folk, but I'll give up Christmas before I'll give up cooking.)
I know we're not the only ones faced with financial woes. Nearly everyday, I hear or read about someone else in more dire situations than us.
When I do, I feel selfish for complaining about my life losing a bit of its glamour and complacency, but I can't help wondering where we would be if I had made different choices.
It had the same tenor as most of our past dealings... "Hi-Hi. We're doing FABULOUS. Our life. PERFECT! So what's up with YOU?"
They seem to have escaped the economic crapfest. Prosperity certainly agrees with them and I can't blame her for
Insert some passive-aggressive BS about "not spending the holidays together" (as if we ever did), and you can see why we don't talk much...
She isn't the only one asking us, "Do you know... Do'ya? Do'ya? Huh? Huh?".
Everyone wants to know what's going to happen, but no more so than ME. It's quickly become the "...but, how are you feeee-ling?" of my pregnancy days and it's twice as annoying since I have no news to share.
Nothing.
While my dear, sweet husband is still hoping for a new contract and refusing to put our house back on the lettings market, I've simply resigned myself to the fact that I have a ton of (re)packing to do...
I've been a jumble of emotions that I can't even begin to sort right now. There's a lot of disappointment and anxiety, but GUILT tops the list.
Months ago, when the stress of moving to London finally got to me, I made the calamitous error of letting my guard down while talking to my mother-in-law.
Her response?
In a nutshell, a long lecture on how I should get over myself and be a stronger person, because what choice do I have... and I quote, "It's not like YOU would get a job and support your family".
Yeeeeah. Ouch!
At the time, I just filed that comment away in"crazy, hypocritical things my mother-in-law has no right to say to me" and moved on with my life. (It's a really big file.)
Although lately, her words have come back to haunt me.
I'm smart. I'm marketable. I love, love, LOVE being home with our son, but hate that the responsibility and pressure of keeping us solvent is all on my husband.
This will be the third time he's lost his job in two and a half years and each "transition" has nipped away at our savings more and more. Savings in which I have not contributed in a long time...
I stay up every night and I wonder how we're going to afford to send our son to college.
I wonder, if we do move back, how we're going replace the things we sold for this "grand adventure"- the second car, the washer/dryer, our mattress.
I wonder if I should be supporting my family.
My husband insists that I AM making a contribution. Of course, this was upon coming home to a happy boy and night two of my "holiday trial runs".
(If you care to know, tonight it was roasted lamb with ciabatta stuffing, delicious Jerusalem artichokes, and cranberry jelly. A bit posh for po' folk, but I'll give up Christmas before I'll give up cooking.)
I know we're not the only ones faced with financial woes. Nearly everyday, I hear or read about someone else in more dire situations than us.
When I do, I feel selfish for complaining about my life losing a bit of its glamour and complacency, but I can't help wondering where we would be if I had made different choices.
5 comments:
It's really kind of a damned-if-you-do damned-if-you-don't moment, right? If you'd been working, maybe you wouldn't have been able to pick up and move to London--which although it may not end the way you wanted to, was still a good opportunity for your husband. There are so many trade-offs in married/family life.
Hope you guys get some good news really sooN!
I just wanted to offer an over the computer *hug*. It's really a tough decision. But honestly to raise your own kids and be there with them and not to have to pay over half your income on child care it seems to me that staying home is the smartest. Everything else will come. I pray for you all that it will work out the best way possible. I really hope that it does. Try not to let your MIL in your head and push that guilt away too. You are just as vital to your family as your husband. But I know it is very hard when financial issues are upon you not to feel at least a little (or a whole lot guilty) that you aren't helping in that department.
Anyway I'm getting longwinded when I just wanted to offer prayers and hope that things will work out.
Ignore the plastic addicted MIL. It's not okay to lay blame on you. Staying with the boy is a job & you are contributing. Do not ever let anyone demean that.
I feel like slapping both your MIL and SIL...how insensitive!
I'm sorry you're going through all of this, particularly after having just moved. I'll be hoping for good news to come your way soon.
Wow that's a rough situation. It is a weird, crazy financial mess out there (as you well know) and I'm sure it's going to start affecting everyone if it hasn't already.
I'm sure that doesn't make you feel better though. Hoping things work out with your husband's contract or finds a new job soon.
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