We Get The Hint And No Thanks

We received a dinner invitation for this weekend, but I was feeling super lazy about taking my son to a restaurant. Especially since I seem to be doing it a lot recently.

Having to chop up and pack all of my son's food along with his place mats, bibs, wipes, and spoons beforehand, only for it to end up on the restaurant floor gets tiresome. He usually takes more of an interest in MY food anyway, demanding bites of my sandwich or insisting that he dip his spoon in my soup...

Naturally, I'm less apologetic and more comfortable dining out with certain friends, mostly other couples with babies. People that UNDERSTAND or don't seem to mind the destruction happening before them.

Where two or more babies are gathered... screaming, chaos, and mess is sure to ensue. Conversation, or rather our piecemeal attempts at conversion, is greatly dependant (diminished) upon the mood of our tiny dining companions. I'm lucky that once our son's fancy is indulged, he's usually content to continue quietly playing with his bowl and spoon. Although he has his moments, my son is generally calm and well behaved during meals.

While the friends who invited us to dinner this weekend don't have children of their own, they seemed okay with including our son. We had already agreed to going, but I was a bit slack about getting back to them about finalizing the details. In the interim, they went ahead and made alternate plans with another couple we know... you know, just in case we NEVER call back.

Okay, so we never NEVER call back and I find that to be a trife rude, but whatever....

They had planned a night of (heavy) drinking at a place that serves something called a "Blow Torch", followed by a movie. Since it obviously wasn't baby-friendly and too late for us to get a sitter anyway, we politely declined. The other couple have a child about our son's age, but they were planning to leave him at a daycare.

"We hope it wasn't because we invited that other couple to join us," my friend weakly inquired.

I wasn't because they invited the other couple. It was because I didn't want to hear another thinly veiled "hint" from them about how "you know, we leave our son with an hourly drop-in daycare when we go out and he really, really, really likes it..." (implied: why don't you do the same ?)

I know it's aggravating to take our kids out with us. Sure, it limits where we can go and how long we can stay.... Sometimes, we have to go out again just to rehash the conversation we tried to have the last time we had dinner together...

Still, dealing with all that it still better than leaving my toddler with a stranger. I guess I just have a silly little quirk about needing to know and trust the people who I leave to care for my child. While it think it's fine and dandy that they found something that works for them, I don't feel comfortable leaving my son with someone he hardly knows... Hell, that WE hardly know!

My husband and I fully admit to being overprotective and paranoid, but I think we have every right to be considering the kind of world we live in. I have heard enough personal accounts from my mom (the pediatrician) and my sister (the former daycare worker, nanny, and school teacher) to know what comes from not trusting your parental instincts. Plus, I know what happens at daycare centers, even the "good ones"... not good.

It's not that I don't like leaving my son with other people. He stays with my parents or my sisters fairly often when we need a break, a date night, or simply to run an errand best run without him. I've never left my son with a paid sitter, because I haven't had to... Fortunately, my family is more than willing to help out whenever they can.

All I ask is a decent amount of time to plan ahead... and perhaps that you don't blow me off and make alternate plans the morning of when you could have simply called me to confirm. You know, the funny thing about the phone is that it works both ways.