Peace Be With You

A working mom friend of mine called and asked to schedule a play date for our boys on her day off. I was pleasantly surprised, but a bit shocked and honored that she'd want to spend her day off with us. Having been one once upon a time, I know how very precious a day off is to a working mom.

We met at the indoor playground in the mall (because it never stops raining here), then had lovely lunch together. We talked about the kids and what new skills each has acquired recently. Once that conversation grew stale, I asked her about work, which she very obviously enjoys, and her face light up. She excitedly went into a lengthy discussion about her upcoming business trips and some recent hiring at her firm, followed by some woe over being away from her family so often...

I entirely wasn't sure if that last part was for my sake or hers. For the record, I don't believe that the "Mommy Wars" exist either. In fact, I find that most moms go out of their way to be supportive of one another. Whenever I talk to my "working moms" friends, they seem obliged to make some sort of neutralizing statement like this after talking about their jobs... as if it's not okay to be a mom and like your job. Likewise, I make a conscientious effort to take on a chipper, even tone when making blithe remarks like, "Well, you have such a great nanny that your family really likes. I hear that's pretty hard to come by. You are so lucky".

What I really want to say is, "Stop feeling guilty/Apologizing for yourself. Your kid is happy, healthy, and just taught my kid how to say 'milk' and 'duck'. He is obviously thriving under your excellent parenting/working juggling skills."