When One Becomes Two, Enlighten Me

We had some friends over for a low-key Sunday night supper yesterday evening. Not wanting to trouble us, our friends suggested getting together at a restaurant, but with two active toddler BOYS we might as well wear fur and order dolphin for all the shunning and dirty looks to come our way.

My husband and I decided it was best to just host something in the relative privacy and seclusion of our house. Far, far away from polite society...

It turned out to be a very good call. Five minutes into dinner, the kids' mac n'cheese littered the kitchen floor as they dashed off to lay claim over a favored toy. They occasionally came back to swipe a morsel or two off of our plates, but they were mostly interested in fighting...er, playing... whatever.

Every so often, a parent would have to get up to take a toy away or remind someone that "we do not throw/hit/shove/etc.", but it was a relatively small compromise to avoid being pegged as "that family". Again.

In spite of the chaos, we managed to have a nice meal and an actual adult CON-VER-SA-TION together, but in the end it felt like one big sham.

I mean, who am I kidding?! I can't hold adult conversations. I'M A MOMMY!!!!

As such, a part of my brain will forever be devoted to an endless buzzing to the tune of:

where's my kid? what's in his mouth? oops, is it time to feed him? where's my kid? what's in his mouth? how are we going to pay for college? where's my kid? what's in his mouth? what if he goes out of state? where's my kid? what's in his mouth? ...

...and so forth, blocking out important things like linear thoughts and witty associations. Plus, it's hard to really pay attention when one eye is always on my busy toddler or I'm busy cutting up everything into tiny bite-sizes pieces.

Our friends were bit distracted as well, and rightly so. They are about to have their second child any day now and coming to terms with it seemed to have gripped them with terror and regret. They kept thanking us for having them over for dinner, you know, before we "never see them again"...

Our reassurances that everything will be JUST FINE and "you and all of your children will always be welcome in our home" fell on deaf ears as they carried on, lamenting all the drastic changes a second child will surely bring.

"I'm sure things will be different, but hardly the death of life as you know it," I said. "I mean, it's not like you don't already have a kid..."

To me, the biggest leap was going from "carefree, career-oriented newlywed" to motherhood. While I don't expect having a second (or third or fourth...) child to be a walk in the park, I don't know that it would be that much more of an adjustment.

Of course, what do I know? I used to think all kinds of silly things about motherhood before I actually had a child.

So, dear readers, would you kindly enlighten me on your experiences with having a second child? From what I've heard it does involve A LOT less sleep and an exponential amount of work, but unlike the first time you probably know what you're doing.... Right?