Countdown to Crazy

I begrudgingly benevolently agreed to spend Thanksgiving in Oklahoma with my in-laws next week. We'll be there for THREE DAYS... three long, tongue-biting, silent-fuming, eye-rolling days.

There are three things in the world that my mother-in-law is truly obsessed, er... passionate about. There are as follows:

• Getting a family portrait
• Shopping
• Her holiday traditions- of which there are many and often impossible to accomplish in one year...
  

Over the past two weeks, she's called several times to specifically discuss each of these in turn. The first call was to ask if I thought she should schedule a family portrait at a studio... over Thanksgiving (?!).

The family portrait has been a thorn in her side (and mine) for as long as I've known her, but her children haven't exactly been cooperative... She hoped to get one on my wedding day, except that my sister- and brother-in-law were understandably unable to attend due to the birth of their son four days prior. Even though there was nothing anyone could do about it, my mother-in-law continued to harp on this point for MONTHS.

The next time she had all of her sons, daughters-in-law, and grandkids in the same place was a year and a half later... but, two of us were preggers and it went down as the "incomplete photo" before it was even snapped. It is displayed proudly in her new home and I know it irks her whenever someone points out that my son and my niece are "missing" from the photograph.

In spite of all this, I like to blame my brother-in-law for making this coveted family photo op impossible! He lives in California and has come home all of twice in the last five years, even though his wife and kids come twice a year, at least. I've only met him once and from what I can tell, he doesn't really like coming home and despises the family portrait more than I do. I don't know why, but as long as he stays away (and we keep having babies), I will never hear the end of it with the family portrait... Ahhh!

Last year, my mother-in-law suggested using a "fill-in" for my MIA BIL and asked if Hubby, with his mad "PhotoShop skills", could somehow paste his brother's head on top of the fill-in's body. The rest of the family was utterly disgusted by that suggestion. I'm please to say that we talked her down from that ledge amicably and she settled for a picture of "just the grandkids".

This year, I just offered to just take another nice photo of the grandchildren together for her holiday cards. Done and done.

Shopping... My mother-in-law wants all the "girls" (that would be my sisters-in-law who do NOT get along, me, and her) to go Christmas shopping together... over Thanksgiving (?!) I told her that's what the Internet is for...

I prefer to do my holiday shopping in my comfy pants... alone... at home, thankyouverymuch.

Holiday traditions... While I RESPECT and ADORE holiday traditions, I believe it is best to practice moderation, streamline, and prioritize, particularly when 2/3 of your family lives far, far away and will only be together for THREE days, which will hopefully include sleeping, eating, and the occasionally bathroom break.

My in-laws, however, have too many traditions to enumerate, but I assure you it's all madness and chaos and too much for me to handle... sober.

Today, I'm grateful for my in-laws. For all of their nuttiness, they really are good people. After all, they raise the man I love! We enjoy a tenuous relationship built on sarcasm, denial, and talking about my son, but it works so don't knock it.

Besides, they make good blog fodder.