I don't think our next door neighbors like us very much...
They seem to be a lovely family, but whenever the dad sees me, he either scurries into his garage and SHUTS IT behind him or suddenly becomes very preoccupied with his manicured lawn.
He does not make eye contact.
They seem to be a lovely family, but whenever the dad sees me, he either scurries into his garage and SHUTS IT behind him or suddenly becomes very preoccupied with his manicured lawn.
He does not make eye contact.
He does not say more that two words to me.
He does not invite me into his home.
Sure, we've have tons of loud parties late into the night that we've never invited them to. Perhaps, I always get their kids' names wrong... Maybe a couple of times on trash day... when our bin was too full... I've snuck some of our trash into their bin... and yes, we are terrible about taking care of our yard, while they work on theirs every single Saturday and Sunday from March through October.
But, hey, shouldn't that make them happy? Our crappy lawn makes theirs look considerably nicer, right?
To further the divide, this family pays as much attention to their physical fitness as they do to lawn. The mom stays home just like me. When she's not volunteering at their kids school, she's out with the jogging stroller and her two older kids trailing behind her on bikes.
As for the dad... well, let's just say that our friends have dubbed him the "Bionic Man". Running shirtless through our neighborhood every evening, he can best be described as a taut Asian man with about 1% body fat. As he runs, you can literally see every muscle in his body flexing and contracting...
No, I'm not stalking him. It's just hard not to notice him running past while I sit my badonkadonk bootie on my front lawn eating Twizzlers and chocolate and playing my son...
Clearly, we are not... how you say? ah, yes. Simpatico with these people.
We've tried to tell our friends all this and more, but they still can't be convinced that we shouldn't be their new neighbors. You see, they just bought a new home and are totally jonesing for us to move into the one to the left that's just about to go on the market...
"We can tear down the fence and have one big mega-yard," they plead.
"No, no, no," we say, "you don't understand... we are really, really, REALLY awful neighbors."
Sure, we've have tons of loud parties late into the night that we've never invited them to. Perhaps, I always get their kids' names wrong... Maybe a couple of times on trash day... when our bin was too full... I've snuck some of our trash into their bin... and yes, we are terrible about taking care of our yard, while they work on theirs every single Saturday and Sunday from March through October.
But, hey, shouldn't that make them happy? Our crappy lawn makes theirs look considerably nicer, right?
To further the divide, this family pays as much attention to their physical fitness as they do to lawn. The mom stays home just like me. When she's not volunteering at their kids school, she's out with the jogging stroller and her two older kids trailing behind her on bikes.
As for the dad... well, let's just say that our friends have dubbed him the "Bionic Man". Running shirtless through our neighborhood every evening, he can best be described as a taut Asian man with about 1% body fat. As he runs, you can literally see every muscle in his body flexing and contracting...
No, I'm not stalking him. It's just hard not to notice him running past while I sit my badonkadonk bootie on my front lawn eating Twizzlers and chocolate and playing my son...
Clearly, we are not... how you say? ah, yes. Simpatico with these people.
We've tried to tell our friends all this and more, but they still can't be convinced that we shouldn't be their new neighbors. You see, they just bought a new home and are totally jonesing for us to move into the one to the left that's just about to go on the market...
"We can tear down the fence and have one big mega-yard," they plead.
"No, no, no," we say, "you don't understand... we are really, really, REALLY awful neighbors."
"But we just want to live next door to people we like," they say, "and we like you."
"You won't for long," we respond.
Even my parents are telling us it's a baaaaaad idea. They live a block away from their best friends, so they know what they're talking about...
At least, I still think they're still best friends... I haven't heard much about them lately. hmmm
When they first moved it, my parents enjoyed the novelty of it all. My dad would ride his bike down there and back multiple times a day to borrow and return this and that. My mom would cook large meals and drop off half of it at their house. Apparently, they went out of too much for my mom's liking and she decided to "help" them be healthier.
My mom even helps them with decorating their house... Sure she was a little miffed when they didn't change the blueprints based on her "suggestions", but she got over it... eventually.
Whenever she sees a comforter or throw pillows that would go just grand in their new home, she calls them immediately... and then calls again to make sure they got it... and again, to ask to come by and see it in their house. Not because she doesn't believe them, but to confirm that she was right about it matching...
I know it sounds strange, but I would actually love to live next door to my parents. I just think it would be so delightful to just run over there when I get lonely during the day or drop off my son so I can do mundane things like grocery shop in peace... but, my husband won't hear of it.
When they first moved it, my parents enjoyed the novelty of it all. My dad would ride his bike down there and back multiple times a day to borrow and return this and that. My mom would cook large meals and drop off half of it at their house. Apparently, they went out of too much for my mom's liking and she decided to "help" them be healthier.
My mom even helps them with decorating their house... Sure she was a little miffed when they didn't change the blueprints based on her "suggestions", but she got over it... eventually.
Whenever she sees a comforter or throw pillows that would go just grand in their new home, she calls them immediately... and then calls again to make sure they got it... and again, to ask to come by and see it in their house. Not because she doesn't believe them, but to confirm that she was right about it matching...
I know it sounds strange, but I would actually love to live next door to my parents. I just think it would be so delightful to just run over there when I get lonely during the day or drop off my son so I can do mundane things like grocery shop in peace... but, my husband won't hear of it.
He keeps muttering things about "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "being too close to the crazy"...
At least I would know that my neighbors liked us whether or not we mowed the lawn. In fact, they'd probably do it for us and what's not to love about that?
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