Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm not the only one!!!

Last week was the most difficult, exhausting, frustrating week for me. In addition all the awful things happening out there, there's been a war brewing at home and I'm whipped.

It seems that my sweet, darling, well-behaved, easy-peasy, chilled-out, laid-back son has been possessed. How else can I explain the overnight 180 into a volatile, unpredictable, discontented teetering ball of energy?

It's true. Something has gotten into him and it's bad enough that even the playgroup mommies noticed and told him to "cheer up" as we left the park on Friday...

I used to know exactly how to keep him happy, entertained, and satisfied, and now it seems like there's NOTHING I can do to please him. Tantrum have become a major staple of our day, rather than the exception, and they are unusually over the most ridiculous, impossible things no one can control like his toys not being able to stand on their heads (hello, rules of gravity) or the refrigerator not moving when he pushes it...

It's bad enough that to have to tell an irrational person, "no", but then there's the being trapped in my house, where I can't eat, launder, cook, clean, organize, potty, or put away until my son's sleeps because he is RIGHT THERE as soon as I so much as crack open the fridge, closet, or cabinet to get something...

Our son likes to get into everything and gets soooo frustrated when I won't let him hurt himself. Within seconds, he is unloading all of the glass-jarred jams and jellies from the fridge door or trying to pull down a toaster oven on to his head. He goes ballistic if I won't let him play in the trash cans or crawl into the dishwasher to get at the steak knives. No interest in spoons or plastic bowls, just the stuff that will poke his eyes out...

I get so caught up in just keeping him safe and sound during the day, that I forget the most obvious things I mommy should know.

...like, uh, putting sunscreen on my son before he goes to the park or a jacket when it's cold outside... What kind of mom am I????

Each day as my husband (thankfully) takes over his bedtime routine, I collapse, exhausted and emotionally drained, and ask myself, "...and I left my job for THIS?'

My awesome job where I was praised constantly, people listened when I talked, and I knew exactly what I was doing (and even if I didn't, someone was always there to tell me what to do).

I never once doubted whether or not I was good at my job or felt any guilt over it. I left my career which I WAS GOOD AT to be in this nebulous world of self-doubt, isolation, and guilt... this world where I am at the whim of a 12 month old...WHY????"

One afternoon, as he was down for his nap, I called a friend to vent, but she was generally unsympathetic. Next, I called my husband and blubbered endlessly about being an awful mother, having no one to turn to, blah, blah...

I begged him to "puh-lease, come home", but no luck. I was on my own. Completely and totally on my own....

That is until I logged on and found this from a favorite blog of yours and mine, amalah . com

Noah's throwing a million tantrums a day, probably because he feels like shit and isn't sleeping well either, but after the 999,999th hissyfit of the day my sympathy is ALL TAPPED OUT. Seriously, son. An inability to get the fridge magnets lined up precisely to your liking is no reason to get all freaking nuclear and screamy.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm not the only one!!! Thanks so much for that,. You have no idea how much that made me feel better... even if it sounds like you're having a rought time too.