Dreams Built on the Foundation of Pyramid Schemes

My parents have a knack for being suckered into the most ridiculous stuff. I used to joke that if it's "as seen on tv", it can also be "seen at our house".

When I was still living at home, I made a point of blocking anything "home shopping"-related on their televisions. It didn't help...

They still managed to find whatever at their local Sam's Club or Bed, Bath, & Beyond, rave for a week, then forget all about it as they moved on the next obsession.

I considered it a harmless hobby until they decided to move on to bigger scams... like purchasing a TIME SHARE.

I could tell it was an impulse purchase immediately by the giddy, feverish, high-pitched tone my mom used to defend... er, tell me all about it. She was talking so fast that it was as if she expected me to argue with her.

Well, I didn't. Nor, did I tell her how stupid timeshares are or that they're probably the worst investment (if you can even call it an "investment") you could possibly make. I didn't tell her how this particular offer was clearly a scam or that "but all our friends have one" is not a valid excuse to blow thousands of dollars on a whim...

I just tried to quietly and calmly come to terms with the fact that my parents really have become those frail elderly people destined to lose their life saving and all of their worldly possessions to con-artists and one day... OH MY GOD, THEY'LL BE LIVING WITH ME!

Just as I was girding myself for the future, my dad called to tell me about the latest in what I call "dreams built on the foundation of pyramid schemes".

He wanted to let me know that he passed along MY name and number to a colleague with "an opportunity" for me. Not only has their little pastime escalated, now they're trying to suck me into it. Well, I'm not going quietly...

From what I could tell, the "opportunity" entailed posing as a travel agent booking trips on legitimate online travel companies and charging the customer an added premium, then suckering others to do the same, hence the pyramid scheme...

It so happens I used to work for one of these legitimate online travel companies and I know for a fact that doing this is WRONG.

One of the representatives called to discuss this "opportunity" with me during dinner tonight. After she glossed over her company's shenanigans, I informed her about my "conflict of interest" (interest in not going to jail) and asked to taken off her list. She keep insisting that this was not a telemarketer call. Suffice it to say, the conversations didn't go well...

Me: Furthermore, what list did you get my name from?

Rep: Oh, it wasn't a list. A reliable source gave me your name and number. I was told to call you...

Me: So, are you aware that what your company is doing is probably illegal?

Rep: (silence)

Me: "I'm sorry, but could you repeat your company's name for me, again. I want to get it right when I report you to _____.com's legal department."

Rep: "You can threaten all you want, but I know what I'm doing isn't ILLEGAL"

Me: "K, but I'm not the one being defensive about it. And please take me off your list."

Rep: "IT'S NOT A LIST!"

photo by Michael_L