You're Not Losing a Daughter, You're Missing Out on a Great Party

My best friend and her fiancé, our dearest friends and son's godparents, are getting married in Greece next summer and I couldn't be happier for them.

She is the coolest person you'll ever know and I love her to death. Since there obviously isn't much I can do on the wedding planning front, I've wanted more than anything else in the whole wide world to throw her a bridal shower.

Nothing fussy or gaudy. No stupid games or guessing "how many babies they're gonna have". Nothing pastel or frilly. I know her better than that...

Just a simple, chic, grown-up get-together with cocktails, food, and presents. Just a few friends. She gets to talk about the wedding. People get to "ooo" and "ahh" over her china pattern. Everyone is happy, happy, happy for the soon-to-be newlyweds.

When asked when and where she'd like this little party to take place, what was her response?

A fervent "never" followed by a disgusted head shake. End of conversation.

It's not that she isn't excited about getting married. She is. Believe me. SHE IS! It's just that she's basically the Anti-Bridezilla...

She's never been into all that stuff and has probably attend too many bridal/baby showers in the past few years-- both of mine included. I completely respect her wishes, but my heart still breaks. I love throwing parties and I love throwing parties for people I love. WHY WON'T SHE JUST LET ME???? Humph!

So, what do you do when "no" isn't the answer you wanted?

DO IT ANYWAY!

If I can't throw my best friend the sophisticated soirée that I've always wanted, I'm going to throw the most decedent, lavish, bright pink indulgence for the next best thing-- my pregnant friend.

Geez, I make it sound like this was some afterthought or something. Hardly. It was more like my subconscious "party frustration" working itself out... plus, months of planning and weeks of shopping.

Remember those hand-written invitations that I mentioned a few weeks ago?

Well, this is what they looked like...


...and that pretty much set the tone for the whole event. Overnight, my house was drowning in pink, pink, PINK, a color rarely found here since the birth of my son. Oh, and doilies. Lots of frilly, silly dollies.

I've spent weeks shopping for and borrowing the perfect touches for this party- ordering pink and white Chinese lanterns direct for the manufactures in China (lead paint, be damned), a crystal punch bowl from my friend's mom, pink and lavender streamers, finding the perfect baby gift, compiling recipes for mini-cheesecakes and tarts...

Fortunately, my husband took off work to help clean up and keep an eye on my son the day before the party. He was only supposed to help hang decorations, but ended up doing so much more. In fact, there wouldn't have been a party without him... Really.

It seems I caught whatever it was my son had: a little "something I ate". Actually, I suspect it really was something I ate... the Mexican food that followed the scavenger hunt earlier in the week. Apparently, it really was authentic food from Mexico. Hmmm...

In any case, I ignored the first waves of nausea (no, I'm NOT pregnant) on Friday. I thought it was the eight hours I spent baking for the party. Being around all that pure sugar and butter tends make me ill at the sight of food, so I didn't think anything of it and just kept going, going, going...

By Saturday morning (FOUR HOURS BEFORE THE PARTY), I was in a sweaty, cramping heap on my sofa alternating between running to the bathroom and give my husband instruction on the proper way to slice cucumbers for the finger sandwiches that were still unmade...

I thought about calling the guest of honor and canceling, but with most of the party ready to go and my husband planning to hang around to help if needed, I decided to just "play through the pain."

Thanks to Pepto-Bismol (also pink, by the way), I was able to pull it together and throw a fabulous party. Sure, I may have been shivering under my comforter when the first guest rang my doorbell, but I was showered, dressed, and ever the charming hostess, food poisoning and all...

However, no one would have ever guessed that I was ready to crawl back into my bed at any moment. Lavished with compliments of how great the food is, how pretty everything is decorated, and how much work must have gone into this, I told everyone, "None of this would have happened without, Hubby," and meant it more than anyone will ever know.

No, I didn't dare tell anyone how sick I was feeling that day. No one ever wants to think about you singing the Pepto-Bismol song when they're eating something you made... even if eating bad Mexican food is NOT contagious. As more guests arrived, I started feeling better and no one was the wiser. Everything went smoother than planned.

Besides, anything that results in a SOLID 45 minutes of gift opening (followed by the requisite ooo-ing and ahh-ing) should be considered a success as far as I'm concerned.

By the end of the party, with every deviled egg and finger sandwich devoured and glass of punch sipped, my friend and I realized that that annoying girl... yep, the one I prayed wouldn't show up... didn't. Yesss!

Even though she offered to bring food and promised to be all kinds of help for the party, I can't say that I'm entirely surprised. Didn't I tell you she was extra flaky? I expect another weepy e-mail any second now about how I somehow terribly offended her (again)... BY THROWING AN AWESOME PARTY... hehe.

Although there weren't any Dynasty-esque cat brawls to share, my "internal conflicts" were plenty to deal with. thankyouverymuch. I was just so relieved to collapse into my bed and sleep off the rest of my "something I ate" once the last guest left.

The next day (at another party), even the husbands who had only heard about the baby shower were tossing compliments my way. Perhaps it could have been the oodles of leftover cupcakes, cookies, petit fours, and lemon cake that I sent home with every guest...

When I mentioned about my best friend not wanting me to throw her a shower, they asked, "Well, did you tell her about this one?"

The guest of honor and her family thanked me repeatedly for hosting such a lovely baby shower. Aside from the gratuitous praise (always welcome here), I really did love throwing this party for her, even if it wasn't as meaningful as letting my best friend know how much her happiness means to me in the best way I know how.

Oh, and in case it wasn't painfully obvious already....