122 Minutes

...that I will never ever get back. EVER.

This past weekend I was in the mood for a stupid movie and low and behold, look what the Netflix fairy doth brought me!
It certainly wasn't the worst movie that I've seen in a while. It had its moments (they were all in the previews) and just about every tired stereotype about Southerns and the French you could possibly imagine. Yet, surprisingly no mocking whatsoever of NASCAR (or its fantics). Now, THAT was disappointing.

Just like its cars and its tracks and its drivers and just about anything having whored itself to NASCAR, the entire movie was a messy blur of blatant product placements. Here, I'll save you the trouble of watching it...

Applebee'sDominosTacoBellWonderBreadOldSpicePerrierPoweradeMountainDewCoca
ColaCountryCrockCheckersDrive-inRestaurantsTideM&MsKFCSprintNextelBudweiser
NASCAR NASCAR NASCAR

Did ya get all that?

At least, I can say this for Talladega Nights. It was better than Cars.