The Toddler Years Are Rough

According to our son, Daddy may not have a nose, but is very patriotic. Mommy, on the other hand, is looking a bit like a stoner transvestite these days...

Otherwise, parenthood hasn't changed us one bit.

From Two to Thirteen... Overnight

As I was getting ready a few weeks ago, I heard some early morning rustling coming from my son's room.

Hurray! He's awake!

(Yes, I actually do miss my son when he sleeps... sometimes.)

I called out "Good Morning, Son!", and ran over to his door only to find that he was barricading it shut.

"Won't you let me in, Honey?"

"No, Mommy. My room. Go away," was all the "Good Morning, too" that I got that day and it BROKE. MY. HEART.

The kid's TWO!!!

I thought he'd love me forever and ever for at least another... I don't know, ten years or so.

I guess they do grow up too fast. Way too fast.

Sorry babe. He's just not into you...

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

A classic tale.

Girl meets boy.

Boy could care less.

The End.

The Secrets Held by Little Boys' Pockets

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Little boys' pockets hold magical things

Earthworms, apple cores, a mess of strings,
but this treasure is nothing to the wealth one find's
in little boys' hearts and little boys' minds.

Author Unknown

Ready to PO-TTY... or maybe not

My son is barely two and half and we've already regressed with the potty training...

Earlier in the year, I bought him a picture book about going potty and he loved it.

Then, I took him to pick out a potty chair, and he loved that too. We even got to the point where he was using it on a regualr basis, which was just AWESOME.

My son may not have been the first kid in playgroup to walk. He certainly wasn't the first to talk, but by golly, he was going to be the first to PO-TTY!

(read: I am the smartest, BEST mom ever!)

Then, we had to mess everything all up by MOVING to England...

Potty training just went to the wayside as we coped with jet lag and the "big boy bed". He's been though so much these past few months and for that reason, I haven't pushed it. I figured, he was ready once and he'll be ready again, right?

Well, lately he's gotten really adept at telling me when he's gone in his diaper and as far as I can tell, he seems rather disgusted by it. He yells out in complete distress, "Mommy! Daddy! Poopy! Poopy!"

So the other day, I casually asked him, "Why don't you just go in your special potty?"

He looked at me and with all seriousness replied, "Mommy. TOO FAR!"

Really. How could I argue with that?

Update: Dispatches from Toddlerhood

Thank you for letting me dump my problems on all of you last week. As another mom pointed out to me, we have toddlers. Why should we expect life to be easy?

Well, I don't, but at least I have a place where I can whine and complain and throw my own fit for a change.

Your tips and support on the "toddler bed transition" were super helpful, but we decided to just throw money at the problem and hope it goes away.

'Cuz that always works, right? Right?!!

We're still waiting for our shipment from home to arrive, which happens include my son's books, toys, puzzles, etc. In the meantime, we've been making do with the "basics" and empty plain white walls left to us by our landlords.

It's been like camping in a sanitarium...

I've held off on making any purchases until our things arrive and we figure out what exactly was packed. In the blur of what went, what stayed, and what was sold, we've actually forgotten what we shipped. (Well, that and it's taken for freakin' forever to arrive...)

Last weekend, it finally occurred to us that of course our son doesn't want to stay in his room. It's BO-RING, while waking up Mommy and Daddy is FUN.

Everything we brought with us on the plane has been played out by now. Sure, a few shiny new objects would brighten the place up, but we already have stuff coming any day now and...

Well, as my husband has been saying lately, "We can't put a price tag on sleep. BUY IT."

I like that mindset. I like it a lot, so I've spent the better part of this past week trolling the Internet and local shops for things to make my son's room (and life) more exciting...

Thanks to freecycle.org, I've replaced the train table he had to leave behind and got him a new-to-us tricycle for absolutely NOTHING!

At TK Maxx (TJ Maxx's evil British twin brother), I found books, blocks, a train set, little cars and trucks, and best find of all...

A pop-up tent just his size! (Creepy gnome children not included)

..and guess what? He loves to sleep in it. I put a pillow and a blanket in there and he crawls right in and lays down. It's like magic.

We'll just have to see how long it lasts...

Like Zephra suggested in her comment, we've also started telling our son, "You don't have to go to bed, but you do have to stay in your room". Except now it sound more like a reward instead of a threat.

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And for something that has absolutely nothing to do with toddlers...

Can we all please repeat for Grey?

Alaska. 63. Sunny. Alaska. 63. Sunny. Alaska. 63. Sunny. Alaska. 63. Sunny.

Dispatches from Toddlerhood

My son has had allergies since the day he was born. It was never a big deal until it morphed into asthma.

Since then, I've gone out of my way to keep him away from any dirt, dust, pollution, or pollen, and especially smokers. It sounds maddening, but it was actually quite do-able until we moved to EUROPE (!!!)

I've instituted a strict "no outside shoes in the house" rule and vacuum every single day-- upstairs, downstairs, and the staircase, too. It's a thankless pain, but I'm happy to do it to keep my kid healthy...

...and for all of my efforts, I turn around today and find him with the dirty vacuum attachments in his MOUTH!

(Loud SIGHING)

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We went ahead and transitioned our son into a toddler bed along with our move.

It took a few days, but we finally found a nice one. Our son was so eager to have his very own "big boy bed" that he lay down and took a nap on it that afternoon.

I don't know why we bother to congratulate ourselves on our "parenting brilliance", because he has yet to actually sleep in it again...

Bedtime used to be tidy little process in our house. After our son's bath, we read stories and said prayers. Then, we'd play his lullaby CD, put him in his crib, give him a kiss, and leave the room. Most nights, he wasn't heard from again until late the next morning and I was free to clean, do laundry, blog, whatever... I was a blessed woman.

All that wonderfulness has been replaced with whining (his), begging (mine), and lots of crying (ours).

We've tried silently waking him back to his room a la SuperNanny, but the kid is relentless. We've offered brides and talk about all the exciting things planned for the next day "that will get here sooner" if he would... just... close... his... eyes.

We've stayed downstairs and ignored his screams of bloody murder at the gate, but I'm pretty sure that our neighbors hate us for that. (We share a wall on both sides.)

We've even tired making it bedtime for everyone. Hubby and I make a big production about turning out all of the lights and getting into our bed, but our son just comes into our room and yells "Get up!" repeatedly a mere three inches from my head.

Lately, we've just passed out from days upon days of exhaustion while he stays up and plays with his toys. Who knows what time his finally gets to bed... if ever.

Did I mention that he's usually up before we are? Yeah, it's maddening....

There have been a few mornings when we've found him asleep. We've woken up to find him curled up on the floor next to our bed or his, but ever IN his bed...

I'm about to do a little regressing of my own and put him back in a crib. At least, he had no choice but to stay there.

Any advice, Internet????

Party in my TV

It's the middle of summer. It's hot and I resent still being here. So, what better way to pass the time than to post something completely fun and fluffy...

...such as my son's TV viewing habits, which is the same as saying my TV viewing habits since I sit through it too.

He adores The Backyardigans and who can blame him? They are ADORABLE! I only wish there were more episodes in rotation, so we weren't stuck with the same six we've TiVo-ed and watched... repeatedly.

We... er, he is also partial to Curious George, Max and Ruby, and Blue's Clues. He watches them all... just not all in one day. (I don't believe either of us could sit still that long.)

But, our absolute favorite is... hands down... Yo Gabba Gabba!

At first, I wouldn't let my son watch this show. I thought it was too manic and frenzied and the characters...

They are just so WEIRD!

The show would start with some basic theme like "eating", then go totally absurd with sketches called "Super Martian Robot Girl" or "Dancey Dance Time"...

I just didn't get it.

Well, whadaya' know?! That is precisely why my son enjoys it. It eventually grew on me too... eventually.

What takes up your kids' American Academy of Pediatrics alloted two hours a day (yeah, right) of wholesome, quality TV ?

Sleep? Who needs that?

My husband and I have been going back and forth on IM across two continents on how to go about preparing our London home for our two-year-old son.

(You'd think it'd be the other way around...)

The current issue in debate is where he should sleep- big boy bed or crib?

I'm just not ready for my son to be in a "big boy bed" in addition to all of the other changes in our life...

As if I won't have enough to do, I don't really need to be up a hundred times a night to walk him back to bed or worry about him wandering around the house on his own.

He currently sleeps in a crib. Sometimes it's under much protest, but at least he stays in his crib once he's put in it. I say we should keep him in a crib for as long as absolutely possible...

My husband, however, disagrees...

Hubby: Well, I think this will be a good time to transition him to a bed.

Me: Oh?

Hubby: Yeah, we'll transition him to the bed just fine. It will take a few weeks to get him to stay in the bed, but I think he'll take to it when he's tired.

Me: Don't mean, I will have to transition him.

Hubby: No, I'll help too... We'll just have to explain it all to him

Me: Yeah well, he's not really into LOGIC these days.

Clearly, in having been away for the past six weeks, he's completely forgotten who we're dealing with...

By Popular Demand...

Because you asked so micely... TA-DA! Our mom photo!

Okay, so the black pants/white shirt combo worked well in a pinch and the portrait did turn out AWESOME! Pfff... Shows you how much I know...

This is certainly a photo that I will always cherish. It's the best "good-bye" gift I've ever received.

Picture Perfect

I know you're on-the-edge-of-your-seats dying to know how our long awaited picture day went.

About as well as expected... as in, it was INSANE. I mean, whose ridiculous idea was this anyway?! Oh, wait. That's right. ME.

In spite of having planned this fiasco weeks upon weeks ago, I was running incredibly late. (Diva, that I am and all...) I was totally stressed out (I really HATE being late) and the kids...

There were lollipop bribes, talk of Happy Meals, and promises of brand new bimmers for sixteenth birthdays if they would only sit in one place and please, please stop crying....

This is about as good as it got...

In the end, I got what I wanted all along-- one "no-where-near-perfect" photo of the boys, all together and just as they are... Crazy, unruly, and terribly TWO.

They walk alike, they talk alike, sometimes they even think alike...

It breaks my heart to tear my son away from all of the little friends he's made...

While he probably won't remember any them in twenty year or even.... say, tomorrow, my parting "wish" for my son's playgroup was a one last photo of all of the boys together.

Besides, I thought it would be great to show him how he was more popular at the age of TWO than either of his geeky parents ever were... Ever.

However, getting this accomplished entails corralling eight boys- six two-year olds and two big brothers- and hopefully getting one decent photo out of it... Just one. I imagined having everyone over, piling the boys on my sofa (plying the moms with mimosas), and simply start snapping away with my digital camera.

Sure, it would be no where near "perfect", but I didn't want "perfect". I wanted to capture them "just as they are"- crazy and unruly, but sweet. All we had to do was wait just another week for one of the boys to come back from visiting his grandparents...

No problem, except somehow that one week turned into two, and my simple little plan evolved into taking the boys to a professional studio and dressing them in matching outfit.

I'm not typically a fan of staged photos, but since it was now going to take place in the middle of our move, I cheerfully set up an appointment at a local studio that I've used in the past and liked.

They didn't even balk when I told them the number of toddlers that would have to be posed, looking at the camera ,and smiling... at... the... same... time.

As "picture day" approached, my son got sick and I had to cancel the morning of. The other moms and kids got together anyway at a local park or somewhere, and unilaterally decided that we should get a photo of the moms, too (!!!)

Also, in matching outfits... (gag.)

Again, the studio didn't flinch when I called to reschedule and inform them about the "moms photo" that we would also like done. In fact, they were more than happy to accommodate us, although I'm sure there was plenty of eye-rolling and heavy sighing as soon as I hung up.

Well, at least there was on MY end of the call... Matching mommy outfits? Really?

The following week, we had to cancel our appointment again due to a death in one of the families... and some hemming and hawing over the jeans which we, the moms, were supposed to wear.

Apparently, one of the moms doesn't own any jeans... like, AT ALL... or maybe it was that she didn't find jeans to be flattering on her...

Well, whatever it was... Jeans are out, but everyone has black pants, right? And a white shirt?

Wow! My favorite combination... for a cater waiter.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Style All His Own

So, I thought one of the benefits of having a BOY (versus a girly girl) was getting to dress him any way I pleased well into college... Okay, maybe junior high. I mean, what does he care what he's wearing? He's BOY!

Well, apparently that was completely short-sighted and extremely sexist on my behalf, because at 22 months, he just started caring... A LOT.

Tossed aside were the stylish "BabyGap-inspired" button-down shirt layered over a graphic tee. He wouldn't even try on the trendy brown suede skater sneaks I found ON SALE at The Children's Place...

Nope. Nope. Nope.

He screamed, howled, and resisted until I reached into his closet to reveal the same ol' shirt and pants that he wears every three days. (Oh well, it least, it's not his Halloween costume...)

Now, I have TWO men in my life that refuse to be my paper doll. Well, Boo!

Speechless

Early last week, I mentioned taking my son to the doctor. He's had the same icky congestion and constantly getting ear infections since last Fall.

Now, I may only have a Bachelors in Psych and a Masters in Management, but I, in my medical opinion and with my vast medical knowledge and training, determined that these little issues could be all be solved with some allergy medicine.

Allergy medicine that I needed a "real" doctor to dose and prescribe... I wasn't really interested in her opinions, mind you.

Since I drove all the way there, waited for-freakin'-ever in a sterile white room with a view of the parking lot and NO TOYS, and paid my money, I wanted to discuss a few other things with her while we had our fifteen seconds...er, minutes with her.

The conversation dwelled on normal toddler issues, my son's recent lack of appetite and his toddler PMS, when I let slip that my son doesn't talk very much. She actually stopped tapping on her touchscreen for a moment and asked, "what do you mean?"

"What I mean," I continued, "is that my son understands with incredible depth everything we say to him. He just doesn't say many words consistently... well, beyond 'ma', 'da'. 'do' (dog), and 'dat' (what's that?)." Occasionally, he'll add a new word or two, say it once, then never repeat it again. I just attributed it to his personality, which is somewhat reserved and more observant. Less vocal, more mechanical. I really wasn't worried it. Honest. I only mentioned it for "completeness" at the exam.

According to my mother-in-law, my husband didn't talk until well past two! She assured me a long time ago that "if he's like his father, he'll say nothing and then just start talking in complete sentences and with perfect diction one day...and...never...stop". (And, no she was not exaggerating.) My son is everything like his father...

He does well with his other (nonverbal) communication-- some baby sign language, but mostly gestures when he needs something. I didn't think this is unusual for kids his age.

In fact, all but one or two of his friends talk, if you can call it that... and it's mostly unintelligible blabbing that their parents attribute meaning to...

"Dat! Dat!"

"What?"

"Oh, he just asked 'Can I have a cookie?"

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, he's so smart... Say 'please', dear"

"NAAAHHHH!" (starts crying, runs off with a cookie)

...and their moms, dads, and pediatricians aren't concerned.

So when our doctor referred us to the county's Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) for speech therapy, I was shocked.

It's hard for me to truly express how I feel about this. (Ironic, no?) I put off blogging about it because it upset me so much and talking about it didn't help. When I told some of my mommy friends about it, they were outraged on my behalf.

So, I've downplayed it as simply "making use of the services my taxes provide", which seems to placate them.

Personally, I think they're probably a little outraged on their behalf as well. Their sons, who are slightly older than mine, seem to be at the same pace with their language development, and what mother wouldn't be put off by being told that their child is anything less than happy and NORMAL.

Of course, I want to do everything I can to help my son, so last week, I made the appointments for his intake and assessment with ECI. The whole thing has thrown me in such a loop that I started stuttering while speaking to the counselor assigned to us. I made a joke about being the one having "speech delays" and she laughed. That made me feel better.

Our appointment isn't for a few weeks, so I'll know more then. In the meantime, I want to get your input. Has anyone else dealt with this sort of thing before?